I Want to Be Part of the Healing…

I kept hearing about our country being in a mental health crisis and it was getting worse. I was, then, personally touched by this crisis five years ago when my boyfriend passed away. He was a first responder who had some inner haunts which caught up to him in one of the worst possible ways, the permanent one. What hurt more than losing him was the realization I didn’t see the signs; I didn’t know how much he was hurting. I did not fully recognize the coping mechanisms and their ultimate failure.

Over the years since, that pain of losing him started opening my eyes to a growing need in our communities, resulting in my career path change. I no longer enjoyed working for a corporation, gobbling up money from their clients, and not truly listening to their employees’ cries for more help, better technology, less stress, more pay, more support, etc. I do believe the individual people of the company cared for each other, but it was always still the bottom line that mattered in those that made the big decision. I don’t blame any one person. Heck, I only partly blame the corporation, as it is even bigger than them. I just realized I couldn’t be a part of that world anymore. I was drawn to something more, something deeper, something that could help me be a part of healing our society. That’s when I took the leap to become a coach. 

With an undergrad bachelor’s in psychology, I was drawn to mental health support. I was drawn to coaching because of the almost immediate impact it could have on those that need support but maybe not quite at the therapy level yet. I felt I might be able to help others before they get into crisis, help them discover new tools and skills to support their life transitions. And I felt I also might be able to help identify signs that indicate someone may seek out additional support and care before it became too late. 

And then the pandemic hit.

Like many of us, over the last two years, I was touched by many loved ones suddenly in need of support. I have had several, very close friends of mine go into recovery, struggling with various addictions. I have had several loved ones lose loved ones to Covid or other health-related issues only made worse by the stress of the times. I have important people in my life who struggled with increased depression and/or anxiety due to a variety of reasons (ex. lack of connection, misinformation, strife with family/friends, losing support systems, jobs, or overall feeling of fear of the times). I also experienced an increase in my own personal anxiety disorder causing me to make sure to focus on my mental health and get support.

As we start to learn to live with all that is going on in these new times, hidden mental health issues still are surfacing at an ever-growing feverish pace. Just in the last 2 weeks, my husband has been personally touched by two unrelated suicides from people he knew very well. This has torn up his heart. I find myself making sure he has the support he needs to weather the grief and confusion losing someone to suicide can cause. 

This was not the article I planned to write today, but this is what flowed out of me this morning, as I look out into the world. I am not sure what the answers are. But I do know in my gut that we need more folks who feel that connection with the call to help. Whether you become a therapist, coach, or simply a supportive friend who loves those around them unconditionally, there can never be too many “healers” out there right now. 

What can we do? We all need to participate. We need to reach out to that friend we haven’t spoken to in months but is on our minds. We need to check in on our parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and all the others we care about. We need to stop “checking in” by looking at someone’s social media posts to determine if they are ok. We need to form a real connection with a phone call, writing a letter or heart felt email, Facetime, or go out to meet up, if appropriate, to share a coffee or a walk in a park. 

Reach out to those you want to remain in your life and tell them you are thinking of them. One phone call or even a text might be the one thing someone needs at this very moment in time. And be direct - tell them what you are feeling about them. If you sense something is not going well for them, ask about it. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t avoid it because you don’t want to intrude. It might be the one question that could save someone’s life. 

Smile at that stranger you pass on the street. Hold the door for the person behind you at the store. Consider not flipping off the driver in the car that just cut you off in traffic. We don’t know what others are dealing with and we don’t realize the power we have in our interactions with others. 

While I am not a therapist and not qualified to help with serious mental health issues or addiction, I am a resource, and I am here to help/listen. If you are ever in need of some support and don’t know where to turn, reach out to me. Email me directly (tamra@innerdepthscoaching.com) or reach out on my website (www.innerdepthscoaching.com). I am happy to listen and help find resources to help you in your current situation. 

If you feel you are on the true edge and need immediate support, there is also the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255 or https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

While our world might be hurting and many are in crisis, there are many more that want to help. If you want to help, I am here as well to help talk about the next steps you could take to be that help.

Be kind. Be gentle. Listen to your head, your heart, and your body. We are all in this together, no matter how alone it might feel.

You belong here!