Our Own Echo Chamber…

In recent conversations with people around me, such as family, friends, and even random strangers in a café, there is a noticeable unease surrounding this year and what to expect politically, as it's an election year and likely a pretty dramatic-filled one. As I scroll through my various social media feeds, I have observed more and more of the algorithms filling my feed with like-minded posts, which I may not have found on my own. I know how these algorithms work. I know they create this echo chamber of things I want to hear rather than opposing views I might dismiss. But last night, it made me pause and reflect. I firmly believe a democracy and a healthy society are strong because of the different voices and views. Yet, these last few years, we have all experienced pushback and rejection (or been the initiator of such) of views and opinions that don't match our own. When we close ourselves off to other perspectives, we lose the ability for critical thinking. We can find ourselves caught up in a very binary way of being.

I have no intention of writing about politics. I am using it as an example of what is in front of many of us. However, the concept of critical thinking in our daily interactions is just as important as using it when faced with the internet's control of what we digitally digest in a day. With the rise of AI, the increasing misinformation flowing everywhere these days (stories fed into our feeds by oversees political parties trying to influence things to innocent individuals repeatedly sharing a false article out of their innocent naivety of "sharing is caring"), we need to be ever more diligent in what we accept at face value.

This also happens to us on an individual level within our own bodies. Many of us can relate to being in a community of stressed-out, overworked, trying-to-fit-it-all-in people. We are hardworking and caring people, yet to get through the day, many must ignore parts of ourselves to make it happen. And so, the echo chamber shows up again within us. We have three major intelligence centers that help process all we take in from the world. Our bodies (somatic center), our hearts (emotional center), and our heads (thinking center). When equally developed, they work in unison to help us process all the various inputs from our external worlds and give us insight into our internal spaces. Yet, sometimes, these centers can have opposing views and information.

For example, when we have an event to attend that we have been looking forward to for weeks and suddenly feel like we might be coming down with something, we must decide whether to go to the event or stay home. That push and pull of the head (knowing it is likely best to stay home and rest) and the heart (the FOMO or longing to attend something you were so looking forward to) can be palatable.

Another example is at the end of a relationship (that maybe has gone on longer than it should have) when your heart has so many emotions, and your brain is trying to justify each one. Then, your body is tingly with low-grade stress, and you feel restless. Making decisions from these states of heightened experiences can sometimes lead us down a path we later regret. That phrase, "Don't make major decisions from a place of emotion," has a basis from this very spot. Yet, we are emotional creatures. We have strong impulses and instincts. In this modern world, we spend little time cultivating the practice of development in the areas of the heart and body. We value mental acuity and "reason." We use computers to help us think. We use smartphones and social media platforms to help us connect and feel. We believe we are in touch with our bodies because we have a workout regimen we follow to keep us "healthy." However, with just a little guidance and practice, we can start to work on really connecting to these intellectual centers and connect them together, almost like a superpower, to sift through all the input coming at us in real time and get to the meaning of what we need and want at that moment. Learning to think critically about our beliefs, decisions, next steps, dreams, and desires creates a solid foundation where you can feel confident and empowered with your choices. Remember, seeking support for personal growth and development is not a sign of weakness but a testament to your strength and commitment to self-improvement.

I have a small personal story to share as an example of how I am practicing this learning from my life. The last few months have been a mental and emotional rollercoaster for my husband/business partner and me with our apparel company. We are shifting the direction of our business as quickly as possible to fix some mistakes we made last year. We are selling our building and making other financial shifts. It all comes with a significant stress factor, mentally but also emotionally. We both have a mix of pride and regret, self-blame, and a general "beat myself up" tendency. We get a small win (such a lovely exhale), yet we wake up the next day to another obstacle, spilling us back into survival mode. While amid this all (the entrepreneur challenge, I am calling it), I have been trying to observe ourselves in the moment. I'm watching the decisions we are making or talking about making during various stages of our transition. I am so grateful we have each other and think differently. When moments get tough, one of us may want to bail, walk away, and deal with the repercussions afterward. At the same time, the other can maintain a temporary "lets-not-over-react-in-this-moment" approach. Next time, the roles will likely be reversed. However, I am noticing, at least with myself, that when the emotions get high, my brain wants to make a decision that stops the uncomfortable swirling; I have been able to pause and recognize I am not in a rational state. Not every situation needs to be "rational." Still, when making financial decisions or other long-impacting decisions, one should be grounded so you can move forward with the best foot forward. Remember, it's okay to take a step back and find your balance before making a decision.

I am so grateful that I have my own coach. During this transition, my husband and I have been working with a coach to help us sift through what is actually "true" versus what is "true feeling" in the moment but not actually true. Our coach has been able to be a mirror for me to notice the different needs I have that come up in various times of stress. I have built more self-compassion for what I am experiencing and have not tried to force something into being that I am not ready for yet. While not perfect, I also have more patience and compassion for my husband and his expression of what he's experiencing in these moments. This is still a significant practice for me, simply observing. I'm not even talking about taking action or changing patterns. And yet, the awareness alone has been incredibly insightful and supportive.

As a coach, I feel the gift of being able to serve those I work with by offering the same mirror of reflection, a hand to hold during the practice period for support, and a quiet voice encouraging my clients to keep going, even when it feels hard, obscured, and unsure.

Learning to evaluate what we read on the internet, what we hear from our neighbors, what we read in the paper, what we feel in our hearts, what we think we believe, and what the sensations in our body actually are trying to tell us, will all help us live more well-rounded and balanced lives. Yet we must start somewhere to get to "there." That start is messy, unpredictable, and essential. And you don't have to do it alone. You can find support from friends and family, trusted advisors, a therapist, or a coach. Whoever you decide to leverage, ensure your support is as neutral as possible so you don't end up in an algorithm creating an echo chamber in your personal life. Ask yourself the hard questions and question your own beliefs before you act on them. We all need to start somewhere. It won't always go well, but that is okay. We are all figuring it out as we go.