And A New Season is Upon Me
Just last week, I was walking through a park in Ridgway, Colorado, looking for signs of spring. The calendar said spring had arrived, and I could smell it. There was a subtle warmth in the breeze, enhanced by the blue sky and bright sun. Some grasses on the path's edge dared to start creating chlorophyll again, changing from what looked like dead, dried-out brown to the familiar and welcomed green. The trees, ever so bare and drab, showed signs of regeneration if you slowed down and looked closely. The very tips of their branches started showing signs of budding. Small snow piles were still in shadowy areas, and the mountains were bright white with their heavy snow-filled peaks. Yet change was on the precipice.
Ridgway, Colorado - March 19 (First Day of Spring)
Then, a foot or so of fresh snow arrived that weekend and into the next week. Temperatures dipped, and the winds picked up. I can't say I was sad, as I was able to get some epic skiing in on Sunday and Wednesday. It was my favorite skiing days so far this season, if not ever. Yet, I am also beginning to feel the smallest desire to hang up my skis and welcome in some new activities.
Palmyra Peak, Telluride, Colorado - March 27
These spring storms can pack a punch, especially in the San Juan mountains. We talk about how long winter can be here, which seems to stretch into late April or even May some years. We can get caught up in the doldrums of the never-ending cold and snow. Yet, I don't know why I didn't notice in the past; it's not really true. The winter isn't as long as it feels; it is an incorrect perception. Spring is actually a transitional time of year, like the fall. However, we are taught when we are young that the seasons are more definitive than they really are:
Winter is cold and snowy.
Summer is hot and sunny.
Spring is a gradual warm-up filled with bright greens and flowers growing.
Fall is a gradual cool down, with leaves changing color and dying.
Yet, if we are realistic, many of us have experienced a day or two in February that was unusually warm, even hot. One June in the northeast a few years back, the sun only came out for a few days in the whole month, and it never got above 60 degrees. Nature doesn't fit into our textbook parameters. And neither do we!
This spring, I am attempting to be more present in my daily life. It is downright hard. I didn't realize how much of the day I spent worrying about things I couldn't control, worrying about the future, or critiquing my past. I didn't know how much time I spent in my head on conversations I've had or yet to have. Or how much time I spend thinking about doing something I do not actually do. For example, writing this article…. I've been thinking about writing on this topic since my walk last week, but until now, I haven't taken the time to sit down and write it. I am sharing these observations because I am also beginning to notice little things I did not see before as I work on pausing to be in the moment. If all I do is get one moment (even just a breath) each day, I am grateful for that little time to be truly awake in my experience.
This is what I am now calling my “spring” season. It's a season of growth for me again after a year or so of (what I am calling) a hard winter on my own development journey. The spring season is definitely not filled with just growing flowers and butterflies. It has beautiful, warm moments full of potential, love, gratitude, and compassion. I see the buds developing from little seeds I've planted over the last few years. I feel optimism in the air, the warmth of the sun, and the love of my family and friends on my skin (and in my heart). And then bam...a big snowstorm hits, and I am scared that my progress has stopped and I am going backward. I am cold and depressed, wanting to hide from the hardness of it all. The obstacle in my way of whatever I am working towards feels like unpassable feet of snow. Yet, the sun returns, the snow melts, and the temperature warms. All that extra surprise snow, that huge unexpected setback in my development, actually leapfrogs the growth. After the surprise snow, the added moisture and warmth speed up the next level of growth; the plants start to break through that hard earth, and the trees sprout their newborn leaves to catch those rays faster. Same with me. While I thought I was beaten down, I suddenly found new strength and resilience to move past what had just happened with renewed hope.
This is development. We go through various seasons in our lives over and over. Some last longer than others. Some reoccur more than others. And with each leveling up on what we are working on, we go through another cycle of seasons. And these seasons happen to us whether we are paying attention or not. However, to get the most out of these cycles and to learn and grow stronger each time, it is helpful to start to pay attention. If we stay on autopilot and do not take the responsibility to learn from each phase we go through, we tend to keep cycling through the same level repeatedly. Ever feel completely stuck in a rut with no idea how to get out? That is likely a sign that you need to pay more attention to the growth lesson you are being asked to learn. Just like in early springtime, you may need to go for a slow walk outside and really look to see the changes happening around you. They are subtle and not always easy to spot if we are stuck in our routine. Stepping out of our comfort zones and routines can also help us notice the subtle changes happening within us.
Winter is hard. Summer can be a fun time associated with more ease. Springtime, however, is filled with potential and hope, with hints of summer yet reminders of winter. It is a time of rebirth, rejuvenation, and a time to start over, yet it takes work, is hard, and requires a foundation to be built. That foundation can be built by starting or restarting, like in my case, practices and activities that can help support the inconsistent "weather" and unexpected challenges. It is a great time to pause and notice what your senses are experiencing. It's a great time to notice what emotions you have been experiencing, such as what makes you feel happy, content, supported, and/or loved. It's a great time to sense what your body (physical sensations) might be telling you, such as what it finds nourishing, soothing, or exhilarating. This is a time to explore what needs to shift within or around you and see if you can integrate some of that new knowledge to help you feel less routine or stuck.
I am also starting to see how much community or support can be helpful in my own development. In the spring, the flowers and plants can't grow without the sun, bees, birds, and water. Water only stays to nourish the soil if there are plants to hold it in place. The bees and birds can't live without the water and plants. Nature needs to be connected healthily. Just like in nature, we can't truly develop and grow ourselves without each other, without support. We are social creatures and need others. We also need our environment to be supportive as well. If these are off, we will struggle, no matter how resilient we are or how many practices we work on consistently. It is up to us to notice if we need better support and an environment in which to grow.
Thank you for letting me share some of my musings about what I am starting to notice in this new season for myself. This is my distinction of what it is like for me at this moment. And we are all very different and have different experiences. I would love to hear what has resonated for you or how you've experienced different or recent seasons. Please feel free to comment on my blog or social media pages or email me at tamra@innerdepthscoaching.com. Learning from others has been very helpful for my own growth.
And what about Fall? I'll muse about that when the time is right. It is another transitional season full of reflection that is just as important as spring for development. Stay tuned for that. For now, I want to be here in this developing season for myself. And to be here with you….musing about what it means for us right now.
