Trusting the Process…

“Cliffs of Insanity” - Rock formation found in Indian Creek

At the beginning of April, I went crack climbing at Indian Creek in Utah. If you haven't been to Southeast Utah, you must add that to your bucket list. The landscape is simply breathtaking. Indian Creek is the northern part of Bears Ears National Monument in the Canyonland area of San Juan County, about an hour south of Moab. The desert showcases amazing rock formations—arches, mesas, plateaus, deep canyons, and large sandstone outcroppings.

Indian Creek is a mecca for climbers each year because of its large cracks in the sandstone. Unlike face climbing, where you use handholds and footholds on the rock's surface, crack climbing involves shoving your hands, feet, arms—or more—into these cracks to pull yourself up. It felt so much more physical than face climbing, at least in the moment. You're using your hands and arms to hold yourself close to the rock while leveraging your feet to move slowly upwards. There's a required sense of self-trust in your own body to make this happen. It was an amazing new experience for me.

Climbing, in general, requires trusting the process. People often ask how I can be that far off the ground, thinking about their own fear of heights. To be honest, I'm not NOT afraid of heights—it's a natural human instinct. Yet, like everything, it exists on a spectrum. I get afraid, a lot! While I can look down when climbing (the height itself doesn't overwhelm me), I am afraid of falling. Sometimes the fear is so strong I freeze up and become afraid to try another move.

However, I'm on top rope, which means, that as long as my belayer is paying attention and has me on belay, I can't truly fall. I might swing a little if I slip off the rock. I might drop down about a foot at most if there's slack in the rope. But on top rope, you're connected at all times. Keep that in mind as I continue.

Disclaimer - There is risk in climbing (all types). The least risky is being on top rope. Lead climbing (where someone climbs up with a rope to set the top rope) has more inherent risk but can be relatively safe if all systems are in place and done well. Many have seen Free Solo, where Alex Honnold climbs with no rope and no protection at all. That's the riskiest approach, and no one in my circle does that. We're not even going to go there!

So, back to trusting the process. For me, climbing has become a personal development practice, my own nature coach. I've been observing myself on the rock and can see how patterns from my life play out on the side of that cliff. Overcoming my fears is the biggest lesson. And the way I can get better at climbing mirrors how I can develop in my life. Trusting the process is key.

Me climbing Amaretto Corner in the Donnelly Canyon climbing area

You Need to Trust Your System

Your harness, knots, rope, helmet—these are your lifelines. If you have a solid understanding of your equipment, inspect things for wear and tear, and understand how and why they work, you can trust them. That's step one.

In life, we all have systems that support us day to day. Our homes and appliances, the technology we leverage, our organizational systems (or lack thereof). We use specific tools for specific reasons. Make sure you know how and why they work. Check-in regularly to ensure they're still providing the outcomes, security, and ease you need. Or are they old routines and habits you no longer need? Inspect what you use and how you do things. If there's wear and tear, or they're outdated, replace them with something better and more aligned with what you need now. Create more efficient habits and sustainable patterns. A solid foundation will be there for you when everything else goes haywire.

You Have to Trust Your Partner

You can climb alone, which requires extra training and equipment, and carries inherently more risk. It also takes significantly more energy and time. However, with a partner you trust, you can climb almost anywhere.

You must fully trust your partner, as they literally have your life in their hands when you're up on that rock face or in that crack. They must be present with you, paying attention to what you're doing at all times. They also need patience. Climbing is hard and takes physical, mental, and emotional agility. You may reach the crux of a climb (the most difficult section) and need time to figure out how to move past it. You might need time to calm your nerves if they start to panic. You may need time to believe in yourself that you can overcome this challenge. Often, you need all three at once. If you sense your partner is impatient or eager for you to finish, you might quit before you have really tried.

When it's your turn to belay your partner, you need to be able to offer them the same support.

As you climb more, you may find you prefer climbing with certain people. It has nothing to do with them as individuals, but their energy might not align with what you need now. Maybe you need more patience in your partner or someone who knows how to motivate you when doubt creeps in. As you grow as a climber, your needs and motivations will evolve.

This is just as important in life. You can do things alone, yet it usually takes more energy and time to go completely solo. Having the right partners for the right activity is crucial. Different people bring out different qualities from within you. Trusting your circle of family and friends and creating the right support system for what you need can transform both the experience and the outcome. As you develop in your life, your needs for support and influence will shift. You also want to be able to be a support to those around you as well. Being able to trust those in your life enough to show up for them as much as they may show up for you is just as important.

My belay partner, Dawn! She was amazing!

You Have to Trust Your Feet!

You have to trust yourself. When I started climbing at the YMCA at 38, I watched people climb and thought it looked easy. But when I tried, I realized how weak my upper body was. I couldn't understand how anyone got up the wall. I tried pulling myself up, and I exhausted myself quickly.

I'll never forget when my husband's friend, Eric, told me that all I needed to do was trust my feet. I'd heard that climbing isn't about pulling yourself up but rather moving your feet up and standing on them (using your legs). Yet I had such fear of my feet slipping off these tiny holds that I'd hesitate to put my full weight on them, exhaust my arms, and then give up. When Eric repeated trust your feet over and over, it became my mantra. The fascinating thing I hadn't understood is that putting your full weight on your feet or toes provides the climbing shoe with the friction it needs to stick to the rock. If you don't commit and put your full weight on your feet, they'll slip because your soles can't create the necessary friction. My fear was creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. I believed I would slip, wouldn't commit my weight out of that fear, and my foot would slip.

After I started hearing Eric in my head (even to this day), saying, "Trust your feet," my climbing improved tenfold. It was more about my feet than my ability to pull myself up. You move your feet up first, stand up, and then place your hands higher, more for balance.

In life, you must trust your feet and commit to making changes happen. If you let fear dictate how much weight you're willing to put forward (or effort, time, etc.), you may find yourself in a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're afraid to move forward in a relationship because you might get hurt, you'll likely get hurt because the other person doesn't feel you're all in. If fear of failure causes you to hesitate to market your new business or put yourself out there for others to find you, you likely won't have enough customers to succeed.

Finding Your Courage

You need a little courage. You need that ability to trust yourself, knowing you're trying something new, something hard, something others might not be willing to do—and you'll do your best. If you don't succeed at first, you can try again and again. You don't fail by not completing the climb or by struggling. You only fail if you don't try or simply give up as soon as it gets challenging.

This is a huge lesson for me. I get intimidated by climbing grades and won't try things I think are beyond my ability. I won't even attempt them. Yet when I don't know the grade, I've completed harder climbs than I ever thought possible.

That was my entire experience at Indian Creek. My group wouldn't tell me what I was climbing; they just had me try. I completed some routes on the first try, and it felt amazing. Others I struggled with and needed help with. When I later learned the grades, I was impressed I'd climbed them at all, with help or not. I realized I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for.

I'm learning to "project" climbs and not expect to climb everything successfully on the first attempt. Many climbers have projects they work on for months or even years. Alex Honnold worked forever on climbing El Capitan with a rope and even longer on climbing it as a free solo. The training and hours invested to climb El Capitan with a rope were immense, let alone developing the speed to do it quickly and flawlessly.

Facing Fear with Courage

If Alex lacked courage, he wouldn't have left home, let alone tackled something so monumental. The same applies to me climbing on top rope. Every time I tie my rope into my harness and say, "Climbing," my adrenaline surges. My brain instantly conjures all the painful ways I could get hurt (smashing my face on the rock, getting my feet stuck in a crack and breaking my ankles) and my palms immediately start sweating.

If I gave in to all the irrational (and sometimes rational) fears my creative brain produces, I wouldn't drive my car down the street, let alone climb rocks or stick my hands in cracks at Indian Creek (where spiders might lurk). I need courage. And the same goes for life. We need courage to move forward, grow, try new experiences, and meet new people. Without it, we wake up one day realizing our lives aren't aligned with our dreams, goals, and desires. This is when we become stagnant and stuck.

Building Courage Through Trust

While some naturally have less aversion to risk, most of us must build courage throughout our lives. We need to build and trust our alignment with ourselves to do this. We can inspect and improve our systems, technology, routines, and habits to align with where we want to go. We can examine our support systems of friends and community and surround ourselves with people we trust to support us, be present with us, and for whom we want to return the favor. We can listen to our bodies and trust our feet.

If we do these three things consistently, our courage will grow.

This is the process we're talking about when we say "trust the process." We aren't passive passengers in this life. We must make our dreams become our realities. We must actively participate in our own design and process. And we must trust that this process will provide for us. The outcome might not always look exactly as we imagined, and that's okay. We grow and learn from all our experiences and add that to our process.

Embracing the Challenge

Some climbing is harder than others. I found crack climbing quite hard and scary on my first attempt. Yet, I did it scared, even with courage. I was hot, tired, dusty, dirty, and uncomfortable most of the time. I came home with more bruises than I would have imagined. I had bloody knuckles, pulled muscles in my shoulder, and slept like a rock (pun totally intended) for days after.

Yet, I learned incredible lessons about climbing, friends/partners, and life. And now I can't wait to do it again.

I can draw so many analogies between climbing lessons and life lessons. I'll likely share more in the future. I'm curious: what activity in your life has been your "coach" or development work? I'd love to hear about it in the comments. Or email me at tamra@innerdepthscoaching.com to tell me about it.

Using my hands, wedged into the crack, to hold myself close, as I move my feet up in the crack to get higher.